It's foggy & rainy here in Monument. As I write this, it's Tuesday morning, my baby boy, who is now 11.5 weeks old, is napping & I am listening to old reggae. I am reading my journal I started when I found out I was pregnant. I wrote Kingston's birth story about a week after he was born. The excitement of that night is something I will never forget. I am so in love with how he came into this world. I am impressed with how strong and amazing Blake was the entire day. I am so proud of how I was determined to have him naturally. I am thankful God gave us a beautiful, healthy baby who came to us at home.
Here is Kingston Hubert Liparulo-Morris' birth story.
On April 28th I went by myself to see Dana, my midwife, for our normal 37 week appointment. We talked about positions to be in for certain circumstances of delivery, how important it was to take care of myself after birth, double checking that I had our birth kit supplies, and the pressure I had started to feel in my lower body. We decided not to see if I was dialated because we were still three weeks away from my due date. I was thankful we made it to 37 weeks because that is the earliest I would be able to have a safe home birth. We made our appointment for the next week and I went about my day.
That night I woke up with some lower back pains. I thought nothing of them, thinking the baby was moving down and getting ready for the next few weeks. I was convinced I'd make it closer to my due date if not past it because that's what happens to first time moms.
The next day Blake had off of work so we decided to run a few errands to pick up a few things for the delivery and just spend some time together out of the house. We went to the Asian market to pick up some cases of coconuts. I knew I wanted coconuts for labor and delivery when the time came. I was cramping up occasionally but felt good enough to walk around the store. We looked at all thier different kinds of produce and kitchen supplies. I was looking for fresh pickled ginger. I was stopping by the sushi place in town every day to buy some for my heartburn. "You eat a lot of ginger!" they finally proclaimed. "Shut up" I thought "I'm pregnant, I do what I want!"
I remember leaning on the shelves of the crazy Asian food items, grabbing at my back and breathing heavily. My mind NEVER thought I needed to be worried about what my body was doing, though I'm sure my face said it all.
We then went over to one of Blake's friend's house for a visit. We chatted and watched some funny YouTube videos. I was sitting at the table cracking up and breathing slowly. We laughed at the things we still needed to get before baby came and then headed up to Monument.
Blake & I stopped by his brother & sister-in-law's house to see the nephew and niece and kill time. I told Danielle about my pains and she said she thought I was in labor. I laughed and just kept hobling around holding my back. We sat in the sunshine while the boys worked on bicycles.
Once we got back home Blake started making dinner and I got in the hot tub. I remembered my friend, Lauren, timing her contractions days before she had her son. So I timed and recorded the pains I was feeling. They came quicker and lasted longer. Nope...I'm not in labor.
I sat in the hot tub and looked out at the view of the mountains. It was rainy and foggy out. I thought "when I'm really in labor, I hope I can be this calm and quiet, sitting in the hot tub, enjoying nature and preparing to bring my baby into this world."
I had to stop recording the contractions and just let them ride out.
I labored for about two more hours before Blake called our midwife. Dana arrived at 8:30pm and I was so relieved she was there. I had no idea what she would say about how I was feeling. I was still expecting to go another day of the supposed 30 hour labor most women have, at least! I was also waiting for my mucus plug or my water to break in order for me to know for sure. Neither had happened. She checked my cervix and called her assistant right away. Through my dilerium I heard her tell Kim I was 10 centimeters and there was no time to set up the tub we had planned on using.
"You're going to have a baby in a few hours!"
Blake & I looked at each other with pure excitement. We kissed and both said "we are going to have a baby!" I was excited. I was already in pain so I wasn't nervous about that, I knew it'd be rough. But I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I would hold my baby shortly.
Dana rushed around getting the bed and room ready. Blake was right there helping her out, stopping to make sure I was ok and encouraging me to keep going. Kim, the assistant, arrived. It's amazing how you could never have met someone but when you're in need of their soft reassurances or knowledgable assistance they can become your best friend. Kim picked up that we liked yoga and meditation so she would tell me, "remember your yogi breath." She placed the motivational images I had made all around me. She was the soft voice I could hear in the background of everything to remind me to relax and calm down. I drank seven coconuts and had one spoonfull of peanut butter and honey, which surprisingly gave me the energy I needed.
Being in our room, and having it just be Blake & I was so comforting. I had full faith in Dana and in Blake to tell me what to do. I knew that Dana would make the right decisions for us and for baby and I rested in my trust in her. Blake was my voice of reason. I listened to his encouragements. Then I could hear Dana tell me what to do, if I needed to push harder or switch positions. Then I could hear Kim's soft words, bringing me back to my center.
I could feel baby moving down and I had major back labor. Dana told me my water hadn't broken yet and wanted to know if I wanted her to break it. We talked about it for a minute. I wanted everything to be as natural as possible but the pressure was too much. The major thought that went through my mind at the time was that this decision would either prolong my labor, which meant I'd have more time before the worst of it. Or I could break my water and it'd be the start of baby coming out. I knew my energy wouldn't last much longer so I had her break it. They are all right, the pressure releases but then the baby moves on down. Eventually Dana told me to feel baby's head. I couldn't believe we were almost there! All of the work I was doing was making progress! I could see and feel that Dana was worried after a bit. She said, "I'm going to have to do something I've never done before." What?!! "I'm going to have to make a small incision." Blake said my face just sunk. I wanted so badly to avoid that, for obvious reasons. I cried about it but then we moved forward. I knew she knew what she was doing to get baby out. Later she told me if he stayed cooking longer, and grew bigger she wasn't sure I'd be able to have a natural home birth. She said she was worried we might have to go to the hospital. But I knew I chose her for a reason. I knew she'd try her best to take care of me and baby, and if that wasn't enough she would take care of me on our way to and at the hospital.
Blake was sitting against the headboard Indian style and I was laying across his lap. I held him so tight. Inside I was asking him to take me away from it all. I was tired and scared about her cutting me. They told me later that I just kept grabbing him and sinking myself into him. I know that if we were in the hospital things would be entirely different. I know that they wouldn't have let me lean on Blake like I did. They wouldn't have let me move around and switch positions with him. They wouldn't have let me lay on his lap, seeking his comfort and strength. We kissed often, knowing that it helped relieve some of the tension in my body. I am so thankful for those little moments with him. I had no expectations of him once I was in labor. I had no idea, and he had no idea, how he could help or how he would react. He blew. me. away. I wouldn't have been able to do it without him. He was my rock. Everything we have been through in our relationship, all the hard times and good times, the trust we built, the strength we knew each other had, lead to this moment.
Two minutes later baby came! I was on Blake's lap, and baby was on my chest. We were all together in that moment. My little, purple, slimy baby looked right up into my eyes and I finally knew the definition of pure love. I asked what it was and Dana said, "Oh! It's a boy!"
We had our son at 11:29 on Wednesday, April 29th, weighing 5lbs 4oz and 18.5 inches long!
I got to hold him for a while while Dana was taking care of me. That moment could have lasted forever, it was so sweet.
Blake took baby boy into the living room while Dana stiched me up and helped me in the shower. They listened to reggae music in the dark and Blake watched the awereness of his son. Blake said he felt like he already knew who he was and that he seemed so wise. Blake remembers feeling so bad for me as I was counting out loud to get through the pain of the stitches in the other room. He said he felt like he and baby were thankful for my strength to get him out and into the world. And he was thankful for baby's strength to fight hard to be there in that moment.
After everything was cleaned up and Dana and Kim were getting ready to leave, we stared at our son in awe and shock until we fell asleep.
He came so suddenly to us that night. It was such a whirlwind. I wouldn't have changed a single moment of any of it. I was so aware of my body and baby. I was aware of what I was doing and that he was having a hard time coming out. I was aware when he was handed to me and we looked into each other's eyes. Blake was fully aware in every moment. He was able to see his head coming and tell me to be strong and keep pushing. He held me as I held our son. It was perfect for us. Our three week early son was healthy and a wrinkly bundle of perfection. We didn't tell anyone until the next day. We got to live in that night and morning with just us knowing what we had accomplished and how much our lives had changed.
Blake's parents were in Vegas for vacation. We had joked a few days earlier about not having baby while they were gone. Sorry! Blake called his dad and told him he was just sitting with his son. The moment they came home and saw Blake with his baby boy was so special.
My mom was also in Vegas for business. I had told her I was just sitting in bed, staring at my son when she answered the phone. She cried. She came to see him a few days later when she got home.
And my dad was driving to a meeting when I told him. He had to pull over, cancel his meeting, pick up my brother and sister, and come over to meet his first grandbaby.
Blake's brother and his family came over and Cash and Marley got to meet their first cousin.
Every mom is right, the pain and complications of labor and delivery are real, but as soon as you meet your child you'd do it all over again.
I'm so thankful we chose a natural home birth. It was so important to us to welcome baby intentionally and fully aware. We were blessed to have Dana as our midwife and Kim as her assistant. The calmness I had while laboring on my own has shown me a strength I never knew I had. Every single thing Blake did that night showed me how much he loves me and what kind of a father he will be for his children. Being alone in the house was really good for us, it felt intimate, an experience we got to have on our own. Being in our own bed was so comforting. Not having to have strangers around or having to sleep in a bed that wasn't ours, or having to get into a car the next day was exactly how we wanted it to be. We are blessed everything went so well. I am lucky he decided to come early and not grow any bigger. My body knew what was right for me and knew that baby needed to come then. I still can't believe he came the way he did and how healthy he was and how detrmined we were to get him here as naturally as possible.
Three days later we finally named him. Blake was sitting by the window and said "Kingston Hubert" and I laughed, but loved it. Kingston was a name I have liked for a while and knew there weren't too many out in the world. Hubert is Blake's great-grandfather's name. No one knows much about him but that he was a Native Indian from Oklahoma. Blake also looks up to Peter Tosh, one of the original reggae singers and founder of the Wailers. His real name was Winston Hubert MacIntosh and he grew up in Kingston, Jamaica.
Looking at Kingston now I can't see any other name for him. Our sweet little lion.
// these images on our bed are so meaningful to me because he came to us in this room, on our bed //
// A HUGE thank you to Chrissy Batzel, Blake's cousin, for these beautiful images. CLBatzelPixels //
