Seasons Come & Go

As your bones & dead lawn are telling you, & with the blizzard we just got, the seasons have changed. Autumn doesn't last long on this side of the mountains for us. But when it shows up for its fifteen minutes of fame it's beautiful & crisp. Fall has always been a great reminder to start packing up the shorts & start settling into a season of calm days & hearty meals. I love how with seasons changing, we also change.

As soon as the first snow hits the cold ground we start preparing for the holidays. In the last few years my holidays have been turned upside down. Not only was I away from my family & younger siblings for a few years, but my parents have divorced. Last year was the first year I experienced separated holidays. I have mixed feelings about what the holidays bring. 

With Blake's family everything feels normal with little kids running around & uncles & aunts & grandparents all talking at once & needing their five'o'clock beverages. We are lucky to watch a marriage survive the chaos of life & even luckier to have family who is close & eats holiday meals together. 

My siblings & I have always remained close. Even through my moving & the divorce we remain one another's strongest supporters. I love both of my parents & only want them to be happy, whatever paths they need to take in this life. But juggling who has the kids which week & who won't "get Christmas next year" is all too overwhelming for me. There seems to be pressure put on us to make each parents' holidays go smoothly for them, because who knows what next year will bring. My parents are both children of divorce so they understand what we must be seeing & feeling. We grew up driving all around Colorado to visit aunts & uncles & grandparents. For a while it was great to have at least three Christmas' every year. But after a while, as time can pull families apart, it's become a little more hurtful around the holidays. Being an adult in a newly separated family is rough. I'm not sure if I over-analyze the situations or am seeing love for one reality it could be, but it's hard on me. 

The good news is things are ever changing! Seasons come & go. As time moves on we will get used to our new version of holidays. My brother is in his freshman year of college in Santa Fe, NM, which will add a new dynamic for us siblings. My other brother has a serious girlfriend with a son who is good friends with my little sister, and this adds more kids & more love to our family. Each of my parents now have the opportunity to do the holidays how they wish. I now have my own little family with Blake & Kingston. Blake lost his grandma this year & we will be missing her laughs during the holiday visits. Kingston has his cousins to grow up with & a new cousin, Ivy Sage, whose so close in age that experiencing these moments & holidays together will hopefully enable them to be great friends throughout their lives. We are still staying with Blake's parents which means Kingston gets lots of grandparent time! Maybe this year I can help decorate for the holidays ((wherein our years away didn't call for too much decorating.))

As life moves forward & years pass I'm learning there is more opportunity for hurt & indiffernces. But there is equally if not more opportunity for growth & forgiveness. And with the pain & grief of loss, there is also overflowing joy in new life. 

You don't get to choose your family, but I think God knows what he's doing when he places you there. And I am grateful for all of my family, whether it's my related family or my  in-relationship family, or my friends in other states family. This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for being home ((even if it's too cold & long for us,)) for a warm home to have & raise my baby in, for full bellies of delicious & nutritious meals & for the opportunity to get our feet under us after living a few years of adventures & making memories. 

Cheers to the Holidays, family & staying warm! 

Christmas Eve /// 2011 in Santa Fe, New Mexico 

Christmas /// 2012 in Dana Point, California /// this was our second month in our apartment; we didn't have furniture 

Christmas /// 2012 /// ugly  sweater party with new friends

'Friendsgiving' /// 2013 /// lucky enough to have friends who were also living away from family so we became holiday family 

Christmas /// 2013 in DP, CA /// Skype with the family & opening up presents while Blake was in Baja 

Halloween /// 2014 /// last holiday just the two of us 

Our baby announcement /// 2014 

Christmas with the Morris' /// 2014 /// four generations & two babies on the way

New Year's Day /// 2015

Halloween /// 2015 

Why Vegan?

Veganism :: both the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of animals  - Wikipedia

"Thou shall eat to live; not live to eat." - Socretes 

I remember sitting in our kitchen in Dana Point, California two and a half years ago & realizing I was about to commit to a vegan lifestyle. Blake was ready before I was but he had the books and info to back up his arguments for why we needed to do this. He was sitting on the kitchen floor reading Survival of the 21st Century & for the first time I heard him talk about God. Or at least a creator of all living things. He made the point that our Creator loves us & wants us to be thriving. He made the most perfect foods for us to live off of; fruits, veggies, grain & water. Pure & clean & simple & nutritious foods. So why are we eating food out of boxes that can last years? Why are we putting chemicals into foods we eat for every meal & not questioning it? Why are there so many negative aspects to animal products? Why is there so much obesity, diabetes, heart failure, etc.?

We also brought up the subject of babies. We weren't planning on getting pregnant, but it was a possibility. What kind of home did I want for my kids? What kind of environment would make them live a positive life? Was my body, the way I was eating at the time, going to give my growing baby the best chance at a fruitful life? Would I have a better pregnancy & birth if I were eating cleaner, nutritious foods? 

I know that looking at the whole world of food & nutrition & large companies & the economy this way is what really clicked for the the both of us, in individual ways. 

Blake was all in right then and there. 

I decided to try it for a month. I gave up dairy products & all animal meats over that month. I'll never forget my last BLT. I knew it'd be my last. With mayo. It was good. But it was the last. That was April, 2013. 

>> on the water in Dana Point, California, enjoying the sun & produce & being active <<

We get asked all the time why we cut out animal products. And it's not such a simple answer. And yet it is. 

I believe this lifestyle is the right way to go & was willing to change how lived the last 25 years. I didn't grow up with any vegetarians. My home never made healthy foods a priority. I don't have any friends who believe in this like I do. I served meat every day I was working & still did not given in. I am willing to argue with my family over this choice, but only with good intentions in hopes they will one day choose a healthier life. And I was willing to grow & nurse a baby with my convictions. 

I do it for: 

My health 

My planet 

My children

The animals 

The economy 

My hard earned money 

My principles

>> frozen bananas blended with water & peaches <<

>> homemade chili with beans, tomato, sweet potato & seasonings & vegan corn bread made with coconut oil <<

>> picnicking with friends who were kind enough to also pack vegan foods, outside of the Greek Theater << 

And then there are the usual questions vegans get asked: 

"Where do you get your protein?"

"Don't you miss it?" 

"How can you survive without cheese?" 

"So what DO you eat?" 

"Isn't eating organic expensive?" 

"Is it bland?" 

- I get my protein in dark leafy greens. Yes, I eat a lot of them. I juice kale every morning & eat a head of romaine every night. And if you really research it, you don't need as much protein as the meat industries tell you...they just want you to buy more meat...and it works. The more I look into it, the more I'm seeing there are severe consequences to TOO MUCH protein. 

- I miss it all the time. But it's just flavor. And I know what the flavors of chicken, filet mignon, salmon & cheese are. I think about it...then move on. 

- Well, humans actually survive better without dairy products. Maybe one day, back in the day, dairy was clean & healthy, but today...not so much. It's full of unethical killing, torture, hormones & chemicals. Each generation is becoming more & more lactose intolerant...our bodies can't break down the dairy that isn't really actually dairy once it hits the shelves. There are some great dairy alternatives like nutritional yeast & almond milk! 

- I eat the same meals you eat, they are just plant-based and don't usually put me in a food coma or make me backed up for 48 hours. I actually like my meals better now. I'm lucky I have Blake who loves to cook & create new things in the kitchen for us to eat. But if you really dedicate some creativity to your meals you'll be able to eat the same meals as before...and your body will feel better & your heart will feel better for being cruelty free. 

- Organic is more expensive, yes. But when you aren't buying dairy & meat it really evens out. I hate calling it organic. It should be normal. A pepper that's been sprayed down and mutated to look all shiny & perfectly red & abnormally large should not be the 'normal' pepper. God didn't call everything he made 'organic.' But it is what it is & I try my hardest to eat organic. It's still not guaranteed & I've come to terms with that. I remember riding down the coast past the strawberry fields & the people spraying the fields were wearing hazmat suits from head to toe...hhhhhmmmmm. Also, when you're not eating meat when you go out to eat, the meals are usually a little cheaper. But when you start eating cleaner you start eating out less... and cooking at home is always cheaper. 

- My food is far from bland. A few months after we cleaned up our diets I remember tasting things better. I can taste the sweet flavors of apples & watermelon & oranges. Once the blockage of fake foods starts leaving your system you gain better senses! And we love to flavor our foods with spices & herbs! Blake has been determined to find a vegan version of our usual cravings. I don't think there's anything I've not been able to find a vegan, low fat & clean version of. ((I didn't even break during my pregnancy!)) 

>> before we started making our pizza crust, we would pick up some whole wheat dough at Whole Foods ((just ask their pizza guy!)) <<

>> we started learning how to make sushi when we were living in Santa Fe, NM. Switching to only veggies made the process much easier! Once you get it down it's super easy to cook up some sushi rice, slice veggies, and roll up a few nori leaves <<

>> baked sweet potato fries with spices <<

>> quesadillas made with sautéed zucchini, peppers & onion, sometimes vegan cheese is added <<

>> learning to roll with the rice on the outside & we've been adding quinoa to our sushi rice <<

>> we finally found some good recipes for vegan mac'n'cheese, made with steamed cauliflower, carrots & nutritional yeast <<

>> baked sweet potato with avocado, salsa & cilantro <<

>> my favorite pasta in the deep of winter season: spaghetti with sautéed brussels sprouts in honey, steamed spinach, heirloom tomatoes & sundried tomatoes <<

>> frozen acai packs ((found at vitamin cottage)) blended with frozen or fresh berries, almond or coconut milk & banana topped with granola, fresh fruit & honey << 

>> Blake's a killer crunch wrap supreme maker! Black beans, rice, avocado, crispy flat shell, pico & lettuce wrapped in a tortilla & grilled on the flat top << 

>> veggie patties made with rice, black beans, onion & spices & baked fries with vegan cheese << 

>> more sushi <<

>> our beautiful vegan boy, Kingston Hubert, born April 29th, 2015, getting some bananas <<>> here's his birth story<< 

If you're interested at all in clean eating, a more plant-based diet, or even considering going vegan I'd love to help! I do have a Facebook page & Instagram account called An Herbal Perspective where I post inspirations & the things I eat. The links are in my contacts tab if you'd like to follow. 

Change

My life has changed. 

My life has changed so incredibly much. 

They told me it would. They told me I wouldn't be able to go on all the adventures, or do all of the activities, or spend my time being creative like I have for the last 27 years of my life. At least not like before. 

Before I had him. 

I'm so thankful and so blessed I was able to live the life I did before he came. I'm a simple girl, who wasn't cut out for community college, who's moved nearly every year since 16, who can't remember all the cars she's owned, who's worked at every kind of ethnic restaurant, who fell in love at a young age, who can't pick just one dream and go for it, who is still figuring out what this life is about. 

There was one dream... The one I knew I'd fulfill & pour my heart & soul into, when the time was right. 

I dreamt of my child. 

This child I grew in my belly. This child I birthed into the world. This child I kissed when he first opened his eyes. This child who changed me. 

My life may not be the same as it was before. I'm not living in the Rocky Mountains, snowboarding every day. I'm not cuddled in a little cabin in the high dessert with my lover all to myself. I'm not running on winding trails through the forest. I'm not sleeping under the stars in the thick rainforest of the North West Coast. I'm not doing yoga in the park overlooking the Pacific Ocean. 

But I'm waking up in the early morning hours to have a sweet conversation with my son. I'm learning about my patience and strength. I'm watching this boy learn about the people around him. I get to be the one who makes him laugh a loud, innocent, pure laugh. I'm explaining the tiny details of the world to him. I'm kissing chubby baby toes in the middle of the afternoon. I'm nurturing this boy who is ready to grow & move & explore. I'm excited for him to take me on new adventures. 

One day we will get back out there.

For now, I'm enjoying my life, snuggled next to a sleeping babe at home, wondering about all the things he could be dreaming of. 

Trip to the Mountains

September 12th - 17th 

We just got back from a camping trip in Buena Vista and a quick trip to Aspen. Right now I'm lying next to a napping babe, editing pictures and thinking about how awesome he did at 4.5 months old. I know he won't remember these little things we do with him now, but I'm hoping telling him about where he's been from the very beginning will inspire him to keep being adventurous and know that his Pop & I didn't stop doing things we loved just because he came around. In fact, he makes them better because we see things differently now. Staring at the leaves blowing on the tree or putting our feet in the stream or sitting by the fire all seem so much more meaningful when we have ever curious new eyes watching intently the world around us. 

Blake's parents got an RV & tent spot at Chalk Creek Campground. Blake & I set up camp a few spots away, just on the creek. The days were beautifully warm with fall fast approaching. The nights were freezing like winter had arrived.

The first Broncos game of the season was on the first night we got there so we set up & watched/listened to the game while grilling vegetables for dinner. Kingston & I toughed out the first night in the tent with Blake but it was so stinking cold! Kingston stayed warm with me cuddled next to him but nursing every two hours didn't allow me to stay warm. So we spent the next two nights in the RV with Grandma & Grandpa & the heater! ((I knew it'd be cold & we probably wouldn't have gone if we didn't have the option to stay in the heated motor home. I'm so thankful!)) Blake, K & I hung out at the camp spot the first day. We checked out the creek, played on the playground, napped in the tent, read in the hammock & ate watermelon & bananas. We then headed to Cottonwood Hot Springs & met up with the grandparents who went ATVing with their friends ((who were also camping with us)) all day. It was Kingston's first time in a pool and it was amazing. Blake & I couldn't stop smiling at our little boy enjoying the natural, warm hot springs. He had such a good time! We went back to camp & slept hard. 

The next day we all went to a great 4-wheeling spot. Robert & Lauri, Blake's parents' friend, took Blake & I on an awesome trail with an amazing view of Mt. Princeton. Grandma & Grandpa watched Kingston while we cruised the back roads of the mountains. It was so fun to get the adrenaline pumping for just a bit. Then Blake, K & I headed back to camp for a nap. Blake left for Denver that night. He went to see Damien & Stephan Marley play at the Fillmore. K & I grilled out with Grandma, Grandpa, Robert & Lauri. 

On Wednesday everyone packed up camp and headed their separate ways. My little family headed west to Aspen for the night. We stayed at this really cool old Swiss hotel, The Mountain Chalet Aspen, right in the middle of town. It was a block from the BellyUp venue where Blake was seeing Tribal Seeds, The Expanders, & Arise Roots that night. We walked around town & grabbed lunch before napping in our room. For dinner we walked to this great wood oven pizza place ((we love our wood oven vegan pizzas!)) K did so go good, I picked him up from napping on the bed and put him right in the stroller. He slept till we were almost done with dinner. I remember this split second feeling I had about how much I missed Blake & I's farely uncomplicated and quiet dinners we used to have with each other. Then K woke up & made the moment even better. 

It is funny how true it is that your whole life changes when a baby comes. There's a rush to take a quick shower, or the few minutes of quiet while he is napping to watch half of a tv show, or the need for someone to hold him while I run to the bathroom, or how much stuff we bring on our camping trips, or how car rides can seem so daunting because my little pooper hates riding in the car. It's unreal how exhausted I can be but yet still semi-functional. It's hard to find a quiet moment with Blake, where we aren't talking about life plans or work or grocery runs. It's hard to know I'm not just Melanie, I'm Kingston's mom. But I'm not just Melanie, I'm KINGSTON'S MOM!! I'm so thankful to be this boy's mama! He makes every waking ((and the few non-waking)) moments so precious. I've thought about him my whole life, wanting and waiting. And he is more amazing & special then I could have ever imagined. I'll take all those complicating trips, short showers, zero privacy bathroom breaks, poopy diapers, dirty hair, bags under the eyes, sweat pants, flabby belly days to forever be Kingston's mom.

Anyways, back to our little trip! 

After dinner we met up with some friends outside of the venue and chatted with some band members. I wasn't planning on seeing the show but our friend had an extra ticket so Blake & I decided to bring K and take turns outside with him. While I was wearing K in my carrier & Blake was inside, I could hear Arise Roots play. I was dancing & singing & Kingston fell asleep. Everyone coming out of the venue was so kind to us & supportive of having baby out there. I was able to go inside to see The Expanders play while Blake hung out with Kingston & E.N. from Tribal Seeds outside. He's also a vegan & we've had a good time getting to know him the last few shows we've been to. While I was inside I was talking to Karim of Arise Roots & found out he has a four-year-old son named Kingston! So awesome. Kingston & I went back to the hotel to go to bed while Blake saw Tribal Seeds play. It was a really fun day & night. 

We woke up and took Kingston swimming right away. It was niceto take him in the pool while the morning sun came up. When we packed up & went to breakfast at the hotel, the Arise Roots & Expanders guys were there too. We got to talk to them a little more and Karim held Kingston. I think he enjoyed holding a baby again because he was saying how we should appreciate this phase now before they start running everywhere and talking back! We said goodbye & walked around town for a bit. We got some juice & stopped at a dispensary, you know, just because we can. 

The drive home was beautiful. Independence Pass & Twin Lakes were stunning with bright yellow Aspen trees & crystal clear blue water. Kingston was amazing in the car!! He slept for most of the trip home! We stoppedin Buena Vista at a local grocery store that had a juice bar & organic sandwiches inside. 

I'm so happy we were able to go on this trip. We made some amazing memories with the grandparents and conquered some new-parent adventuring fears. We hung out with our favorite bands who got to meet Kingston ((last time I saw both bands I was pregnant, so it wasn't Kingston's first time hearing them.)) It was perfect timing to see the last warmth of summer & the new leaves of fall in the mountains. Next up is Kingston's first adventures with snow!!  

                                                            Dream Big, Ride Far!