Change

My life has changed. 

My life has changed so incredibly much. 

They told me it would. They told me I wouldn't be able to go on all the adventures, or do all of the activities, or spend my time being creative like I have for the last 27 years of my life. At least not like before. 

Before I had him. 

I'm so thankful and so blessed I was able to live the life I did before he came. I'm a simple girl, who wasn't cut out for community college, who's moved nearly every year since 16, who can't remember all the cars she's owned, who's worked at every kind of ethnic restaurant, who fell in love at a young age, who can't pick just one dream and go for it, who is still figuring out what this life is about. 

There was one dream... The one I knew I'd fulfill & pour my heart & soul into, when the time was right. 

I dreamt of my child. 

This child I grew in my belly. This child I birthed into the world. This child I kissed when he first opened his eyes. This child who changed me. 

My life may not be the same as it was before. I'm not living in the Rocky Mountains, snowboarding every day. I'm not cuddled in a little cabin in the high dessert with my lover all to myself. I'm not running on winding trails through the forest. I'm not sleeping under the stars in the thick rainforest of the North West Coast. I'm not doing yoga in the park overlooking the Pacific Ocean. 

But I'm waking up in the early morning hours to have a sweet conversation with my son. I'm learning about my patience and strength. I'm watching this boy learn about the people around him. I get to be the one who makes him laugh a loud, innocent, pure laugh. I'm explaining the tiny details of the world to him. I'm kissing chubby baby toes in the middle of the afternoon. I'm nurturing this boy who is ready to grow & move & explore. I'm excited for him to take me on new adventures. 

One day we will get back out there.

For now, I'm enjoying my life, snuggled next to a sleeping babe at home, wondering about all the things he could be dreaming of.