Kingston's 1st Birthday Party

I'm laying next to my one-year-old as he naps (...oh wait he's up, I'll have to continue this tomorrow...) 

What was I saying? Oh yeah! 

Kingston is O N E!! 

I've loved every stage he has gone through. I think that when he started walking I knew we were coming up to the toddler stage. 

His growth really hit me yesterday when we were swimming. I didnt cry, but I saw him in a different light then I have before. He's coming into his own personality. His little quirks at this age are just to die for. 

It is hard to realize that I am no longer his life-line. I've spent the last year and nine months nurturing, growing, teaching, guiding, comforting and feeding this little baby human. My body, my schedule, my sleep, my nutrition, my everything has been for him. And now that he's gaining his independence it is hard on my heart to realize he will only grow more independent from me every year of his life. 

But that's a good thing! And it's exciting! And challenging! He will make me work harder and smarter for the rest of my life. He will give me new purpose and see things in a new light all the time. He will humble me and guide me down this path of motherhood. I am so honored and blessed to be this boy's mama. He has surpassed all my dreams I've had my whole life of what my child would be like. 

And I'm so happy we got to celebrate his FIRST BIRTHDAY in the way we did. 

Don't get me wrong, the weeks leading up to it,and even the morning of, was far far from dreamy and perfect. Kingston's croup was terrible and terribly exhausting. Uncomfortable family stuff is always lurking around the corner and jumps out right when you don't need it. The pressures of living a life we feel called to, while being told it's not right, weighs down on us all the time. And all this of course has to come to a head between Blake and I on the morning of K's party, when we were exhausted, drained and maybe didn't have our expectations met. 

But Kingston doesn't care about stupid crap. He sees the good in everything and everyone. He points out the beauty in the little things. He makes poor adult behavior just look embarrassing. He knows what's right. Just to love and be loved. And that is what that boy did at this birthday party. 

There's something about celebrating a new baby's first year that just brings the people we love together. We might not see them again till the next birthday or we might see them every day until then... Either way we are so so blessed for the family and friends we have. Each person invited ((and many more)) to celebrate with us, whether they made it to the party or not, has a deep and special place in our hearts as we go through new parenting. Kingston's arrival has healed a lot of wounds and has deepened many friendships. Honoring his first rotation around the Sun was so much fun. 

I tried my best to put together a bug themed birthday party for my little boy. He has been interested in the book Hello Bugs since he was a few weeks old. The simple pictures and words always captivated him. Though he's moved on to much more exciting pictures and stories he is still picked up this book and takes his time with the pictures. When Kingston was just two months old we got photos taken of him in his Hungry Caterpillar outfit and he nailed that shoot ((see post Here Comes the Sun.)) Bugs are colorful, fun, everywhere, and totally a boy thing to love. He picks up spiders and says "hi" to flies and follows ants across the sidewalk. This boy loves to play in the dirt and is curious about living things all around him. 

I made little bugs out of egg cartons (I didn't eat the eggs, don't panic!) and toilet paper rolls. I'd rather make my own things then buy plastic ones and also we're trying to stay on a budget. But it's much more fun for me to sit down and be creative with decorations and to put my love into them. They might not ever turn out looking the best, but I don't care... they were made for Kingston. 

I also made some bug hats for the kids to put on and run around and be silly. They had large eye balls and bouncy antennas and were so cute on all the little faces. 

My party favors were bags of organic soil with packets of organic seeds. No one took the green beans home so we've planted ours in Kingston's new garden box that was built by his cousins and aunt and uncle for his birthday present. I'm hoping he doesn't rip them all out but for now he is "gentle" and "nice" and likes to look at them and water them.

I put out a few snacks of "healthy bug food" of veggies and then we had some La Casa appetizers for those who aren't just plant eaters. 

My awesome, one-of-a-kind friend Kelsie made Kingston a melon cake with delicious vegan frosting and beautiful berries with a banana center!! It was so good looking and tasted amazing. She also put out fruit cups with the frosting inside. The kids loved them and they weren't too wired from having too much sweets. 

The decorations were put up by Blake's mom and Kelsie. They did such an awesome job making the covered patio look festive. 

I made piñatas out of paper machet (took me back to my homeschooled days.) I made a sun and an earth and put vegan candy inside. The younger kids were so cute smashing them and going after the candy. Kingston tried but he's a lover and not a hitter (yet.) 

Kingston was gifted some pretty awesome presents. We needed new toys badly and he got a lot of them. He got a lot of books too! One of the hit presents with everyone was a homemade activity center (if you'd like one made I'll give you their info!) One of his biggest presents was a new, big boy car seat! 

Thank you, everyone, for all your well wishes and love for our Kingston. He is so spoiled with those who care for him and are watching him grow. The chaos surrounding his party reminds me that life doesn't stop, even when you want it to, that the harder you try to make everything perfect the less so it will be, that just when you feel like giving up there is someone there to help pick you up, and that kids don't give a damn about adults' stupid pity parties. And that's a good thing! We need to remember to be more care-free and fun like the next generation! Thank goodness for them. 

Dream Big Ride Far

New Parents

We have been parents for almost a year now. Kingston is standing on his own, clapping at his accomplishments, crawling at light speed when it's time to change his diaper, falling asleep in the shower, breaking in his two front top teeth, making car sounds when playing, turning the pages of books we read, trying so hard to talk, pointing at everything, laughing at tickles and making our world go 'round. 

They say you forget your life prior to having your first. Who was I? What was I doing? Does it even matter? Yes! Life before baby totally matters! Waiting until I was 26 to get pregnant was an unplanned blessing! I love my years leading up to this pivotal moment. Heartbreak, falling in love, being a young bartender, moving, traveling, making rash decisions, regretting those decisions, learning from those decisions, being angry, letting anger go, forgiving and being forgiven, getting out of my comfort zone, figuring out being in a real, adult relationship, making new friends and keeping up with old ones, learning to laugh at myself, being an adult child of divorce, being a much older sibling, changing my entire way of eating and taking care of myself, finding a meditative practice that works for me, learning to be humble, sticking up for my faith, being in debt and getting out of debt, living with family, living with friends, fighting and making up, health scares, job complications, throwing parties, exploring my natural surroundings, asking for help, starting to define what I live for... all of it has put me down my own, individual path where I have picked up tools and dropped off burdens so I can become the parent I am today. 

I have always known I've wanted to be a mom. I had a brother 18 months after I was born. I was taking care of someone from the very beginning. When I was nine I became a big sister again. And when I was almost 18 years old, my sister came into the world. Babysitting my siblings never felt like babysitting though. I was the oldest and they were my family. I was also the first grandchild and the first cousin. All of my family functions involved younger kids. 

When Kingston came I wasn't nervous to parent. Of course giving birth does different things to your emotions, but in the end I never worried I'd be a bad mother ((yet!)) As I'm growing older, and I'm assuming this happens, I am seeing my parents for the humans they are. It's a hard transition from seeing your parents as the mostly perfect adult figures in your life who are ALWAYS right and never make mistakes to realizing they are just people in this crazy world trying to parent and make ends meet and make the right choices but at times may fail. I'm keeping this in mind as I'm learning to become a parent myself. I'll mess up. I'll think I'm right one way and years later maybe see it was wrong. I'll fight for my right to parent my child in the ways I see fit, just for Kingston to question it all. We might have a conversation where I'll need to apologize profusely for doing such and such this way. But I hope one day he will see that I gave my best, with my whole heart, to this job of parenting. I might do it in ways today's society doesn't understand. I might 'go against the grain.' I might be alone in my venture to give Kingston what I believe is the best. I might have to stick up for the choices I make as a parent. I might be misunderstood. 

But that's nothing new for me (I can say with a smile.) In high school I felt different with different convictions. I might have tried to be conventional with my choices as I became an adult but I always felt like I was different (as does everyone in their own way, ironically.) When I met Blake we were wrapped up in what we were 'supposed' to be doing at that age. But I think even though it has taken us years to figure out, we both knew we were going to lead a different life then how we grew up. Now, yes, we definitely fit a steriotype: vegan, spiritual, eco concious, new parents, not married, minimal materialism, questioning the government, belief in communal living... one word tries to explain it vaguely: hippy. We aren't composting or gardening yet but you know it's on the dream board. We like to think of it as going back to our roots. Slap a label on us if you like, it definitely makes describing us more simple, but we still feel like it's been hard to find our community, like-minded friends and other hippies. 

These changes we have made from how we were raised has all been in discussion with how we can better ourselves and the world we live in for the future generations, for our children. In no way are we angry with our parents for raising us the way they did. We both had very happy childhoods and we were supported in our own ways as we grew. If anything, it has made us more relatable to the world because we were just as much a part of it for nearly 25 years. But from now on we'd like to teach our children and the next gen more about the fundamentals of living like where food comes from, how to use less trash, be brave when exploring, what our carbon footprint is, birth isn't (always) a medical emergency, educate ourselves on what the government is giving us like prescription pills, GMO's, and vaccinations and so on. 

Blake and I struggle everyday to balance these things out and we realize we need to lead by example. It is a constant journey to stay educated and positive and determined. This new adventure of parenting is really challenging and absolutely rewarding.

So, Kingston, our growing boy, please just know we are trying our best to give you the best to set you up for the best. "Best" can be a different definition to everyone, but to us it truly is the most simple way of living: celebrate your creator, respect your planet, love your body, nourish your mind & treasure your soul. 

"Love, love is the answer. You see? Love. Love is God. That is the solution for what going on. Only God can solve it." Robert Nesta Marley 

Dream Big Ride Far 

Seasons Come & Go

As your bones & dead lawn are telling you, & with the blizzard we just got, the seasons have changed. Autumn doesn't last long on this side of the mountains for us. But when it shows up for its fifteen minutes of fame it's beautiful & crisp. Fall has always been a great reminder to start packing up the shorts & start settling into a season of calm days & hearty meals. I love how with seasons changing, we also change.

As soon as the first snow hits the cold ground we start preparing for the holidays. In the last few years my holidays have been turned upside down. Not only was I away from my family & younger siblings for a few years, but my parents have divorced. Last year was the first year I experienced separated holidays. I have mixed feelings about what the holidays bring. 

With Blake's family everything feels normal with little kids running around & uncles & aunts & grandparents all talking at once & needing their five'o'clock beverages. We are lucky to watch a marriage survive the chaos of life & even luckier to have family who is close & eats holiday meals together. 

My siblings & I have always remained close. Even through my moving & the divorce we remain one another's strongest supporters. I love both of my parents & only want them to be happy, whatever paths they need to take in this life. But juggling who has the kids which week & who won't "get Christmas next year" is all too overwhelming for me. There seems to be pressure put on us to make each parents' holidays go smoothly for them, because who knows what next year will bring. My parents are both children of divorce so they understand what we must be seeing & feeling. We grew up driving all around Colorado to visit aunts & uncles & grandparents. For a while it was great to have at least three Christmas' every year. But after a while, as time can pull families apart, it's become a little more hurtful around the holidays. Being an adult in a newly separated family is rough. I'm not sure if I over-analyze the situations or am seeing love for one reality it could be, but it's hard on me. 

The good news is things are ever changing! Seasons come & go. As time moves on we will get used to our new version of holidays. My brother is in his freshman year of college in Santa Fe, NM, which will add a new dynamic for us siblings. My other brother has a serious girlfriend with a son who is good friends with my little sister, and this adds more kids & more love to our family. Each of my parents now have the opportunity to do the holidays how they wish. I now have my own little family with Blake & Kingston. Blake lost his grandma this year & we will be missing her laughs during the holiday visits. Kingston has his cousins to grow up with & a new cousin, Ivy Sage, whose so close in age that experiencing these moments & holidays together will hopefully enable them to be great friends throughout their lives. We are still staying with Blake's parents which means Kingston gets lots of grandparent time! Maybe this year I can help decorate for the holidays ((wherein our years away didn't call for too much decorating.))

As life moves forward & years pass I'm learning there is more opportunity for hurt & indiffernces. But there is equally if not more opportunity for growth & forgiveness. And with the pain & grief of loss, there is also overflowing joy in new life. 

You don't get to choose your family, but I think God knows what he's doing when he places you there. And I am grateful for all of my family, whether it's my related family or my  in-relationship family, or my friends in other states family. This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for being home ((even if it's too cold & long for us,)) for a warm home to have & raise my baby in, for full bellies of delicious & nutritious meals & for the opportunity to get our feet under us after living a few years of adventures & making memories. 

Cheers to the Holidays, family & staying warm! 

Christmas Eve /// 2011 in Santa Fe, New Mexico 

Christmas /// 2012 in Dana Point, California /// this was our second month in our apartment; we didn't have furniture 

Christmas /// 2012 /// ugly  sweater party with new friends

'Friendsgiving' /// 2013 /// lucky enough to have friends who were also living away from family so we became holiday family 

Christmas /// 2013 in DP, CA /// Skype with the family & opening up presents while Blake was in Baja 

Halloween /// 2014 /// last holiday just the two of us 

Our baby announcement /// 2014 

Christmas with the Morris' /// 2014 /// four generations & two babies on the way

New Year's Day /// 2015

Halloween /// 2015 

Why Vegan?

Veganism :: both the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of animals  - Wikipedia

"Thou shall eat to live; not live to eat." - Socretes 

I remember sitting in our kitchen in Dana Point, California two and a half years ago & realizing I was about to commit to a vegan lifestyle. Blake was ready before I was but he had the books and info to back up his arguments for why we needed to do this. He was sitting on the kitchen floor reading Survival of the 21st Century & for the first time I heard him talk about God. Or at least a creator of all living things. He made the point that our Creator loves us & wants us to be thriving. He made the most perfect foods for us to live off of; fruits, veggies, grain & water. Pure & clean & simple & nutritious foods. So why are we eating food out of boxes that can last years? Why are we putting chemicals into foods we eat for every meal & not questioning it? Why are there so many negative aspects to animal products? Why is there so much obesity, diabetes, heart failure, etc.?

We also brought up the subject of babies. We weren't planning on getting pregnant, but it was a possibility. What kind of home did I want for my kids? What kind of environment would make them live a positive life? Was my body, the way I was eating at the time, going to give my growing baby the best chance at a fruitful life? Would I have a better pregnancy & birth if I were eating cleaner, nutritious foods? 

I know that looking at the whole world of food & nutrition & large companies & the economy this way is what really clicked for the the both of us, in individual ways. 

Blake was all in right then and there. 

I decided to try it for a month. I gave up dairy products & all animal meats over that month. I'll never forget my last BLT. I knew it'd be my last. With mayo. It was good. But it was the last. That was April, 2013. 

>> on the water in Dana Point, California, enjoying the sun & produce & being active <<

We get asked all the time why we cut out animal products. And it's not such a simple answer. And yet it is. 

I believe this lifestyle is the right way to go & was willing to change how lived the last 25 years. I didn't grow up with any vegetarians. My home never made healthy foods a priority. I don't have any friends who believe in this like I do. I served meat every day I was working & still did not given in. I am willing to argue with my family over this choice, but only with good intentions in hopes they will one day choose a healthier life. And I was willing to grow & nurse a baby with my convictions. 

I do it for: 

My health 

My planet 

My children

The animals 

The economy 

My hard earned money 

My principles

>> frozen bananas blended with water & peaches <<

>> homemade chili with beans, tomato, sweet potato & seasonings & vegan corn bread made with coconut oil <<

>> picnicking with friends who were kind enough to also pack vegan foods, outside of the Greek Theater << 

And then there are the usual questions vegans get asked: 

"Where do you get your protein?"

"Don't you miss it?" 

"How can you survive without cheese?" 

"So what DO you eat?" 

"Isn't eating organic expensive?" 

"Is it bland?" 

- I get my protein in dark leafy greens. Yes, I eat a lot of them. I juice kale every morning & eat a head of romaine every night. And if you really research it, you don't need as much protein as the meat industries tell you...they just want you to buy more meat...and it works. The more I look into it, the more I'm seeing there are severe consequences to TOO MUCH protein. 

- I miss it all the time. But it's just flavor. And I know what the flavors of chicken, filet mignon, salmon & cheese are. I think about it...then move on. 

- Well, humans actually survive better without dairy products. Maybe one day, back in the day, dairy was clean & healthy, but today...not so much. It's full of unethical killing, torture, hormones & chemicals. Each generation is becoming more & more lactose intolerant...our bodies can't break down the dairy that isn't really actually dairy once it hits the shelves. There are some great dairy alternatives like nutritional yeast & almond milk! 

- I eat the same meals you eat, they are just plant-based and don't usually put me in a food coma or make me backed up for 48 hours. I actually like my meals better now. I'm lucky I have Blake who loves to cook & create new things in the kitchen for us to eat. But if you really dedicate some creativity to your meals you'll be able to eat the same meals as before...and your body will feel better & your heart will feel better for being cruelty free. 

- Organic is more expensive, yes. But when you aren't buying dairy & meat it really evens out. I hate calling it organic. It should be normal. A pepper that's been sprayed down and mutated to look all shiny & perfectly red & abnormally large should not be the 'normal' pepper. God didn't call everything he made 'organic.' But it is what it is & I try my hardest to eat organic. It's still not guaranteed & I've come to terms with that. I remember riding down the coast past the strawberry fields & the people spraying the fields were wearing hazmat suits from head to toe...hhhhhmmmmm. Also, when you're not eating meat when you go out to eat, the meals are usually a little cheaper. But when you start eating cleaner you start eating out less... and cooking at home is always cheaper. 

- My food is far from bland. A few months after we cleaned up our diets I remember tasting things better. I can taste the sweet flavors of apples & watermelon & oranges. Once the blockage of fake foods starts leaving your system you gain better senses! And we love to flavor our foods with spices & herbs! Blake has been determined to find a vegan version of our usual cravings. I don't think there's anything I've not been able to find a vegan, low fat & clean version of. ((I didn't even break during my pregnancy!)) 

>> before we started making our pizza crust, we would pick up some whole wheat dough at Whole Foods ((just ask their pizza guy!)) <<

>> we started learning how to make sushi when we were living in Santa Fe, NM. Switching to only veggies made the process much easier! Once you get it down it's super easy to cook up some sushi rice, slice veggies, and roll up a few nori leaves <<

>> baked sweet potato fries with spices <<

>> quesadillas made with sautéed zucchini, peppers & onion, sometimes vegan cheese is added <<

>> learning to roll with the rice on the outside & we've been adding quinoa to our sushi rice <<

>> we finally found some good recipes for vegan mac'n'cheese, made with steamed cauliflower, carrots & nutritional yeast <<

>> baked sweet potato with avocado, salsa & cilantro <<

>> my favorite pasta in the deep of winter season: spaghetti with sautéed brussels sprouts in honey, steamed spinach, heirloom tomatoes & sundried tomatoes <<

>> frozen acai packs ((found at vitamin cottage)) blended with frozen or fresh berries, almond or coconut milk & banana topped with granola, fresh fruit & honey << 

>> Blake's a killer crunch wrap supreme maker! Black beans, rice, avocado, crispy flat shell, pico & lettuce wrapped in a tortilla & grilled on the flat top << 

>> veggie patties made with rice, black beans, onion & spices & baked fries with vegan cheese << 

>> more sushi <<

>> our beautiful vegan boy, Kingston Hubert, born April 29th, 2015, getting some bananas <<>> here's his birth story<< 

If you're interested at all in clean eating, a more plant-based diet, or even considering going vegan I'd love to help! I do have a Facebook page & Instagram account called An Herbal Perspective where I post inspirations & the things I eat. The links are in my contacts tab if you'd like to follow.